Joy of Love

For anyone interested in joining or just learning more about Willette's Joy of Love photography challenge, click on the image below. :)

Joy of Love - Day 1: What They Do

For day 1, they chose the theme "What They Do." For today I chose to photograph Eric. We have had a chunk of snow the last few days along with some heavy winds (which is why we are all home today - Snow day!!). So, he is out shoveling and plowing our road.

I thought taking his photograph out doing this stuff was pretty much perfect. He loves to get outside, during the winter he does a lot of budgeting at work and he gets so sick of being cooped up in his office. So, even though it is freezing cold outside, he loves getting out there and clearing the snow.

My man, what he do. :)

So, the news.

For most people it isn't big, but for me it is.

We are adding to our family.

Not a skin baby. I'm done with that whole thing.

But, a furbaby. A 4-legged, canine offspring.

I am SO excited.

I have long wanted a dog. I grew up with a bazillion of them. Eric did not and has kind of been anti-dog. Not because he doesn't like dogs, but because he didn't want to deal with the responsibility. And, I get that. And that is why we haven't had one.

But, in the last 4 months or so, he has started wanting a dog, so I jumped all over that.

My mom is active in the rescue community and I know how many dogs out there need homes, that are put into rescue (thankfully) instead of just being put to sleep when they are abandoned or abused. So, we are getting a puppy through our local Boxer rescue group. Yep, we are getting a Boxer. :)

Our boxer rescue (check 'em out here) recently helped when a nasty puppy mill was busted. They took 5 Boxers and are giving them a wonderful new life. 2 of the Boxers (a mother and daughter pair, actually) are pregnant and due to have their puppies in the next 2 weeks or so. Since we already have been through the application process and have had our home visit and have been APPROVED!!!, we are at the top of the list, along with a few others, of people that will get the first chance to pick a puppy. The moms and the father (both mother and daughter were impregnated by the same male) are brindle, so chances are we'll get a brindle, although we could get something else.

I'm just so happy. Happy that we will be adding to our family. happy that we could take part in taking another sweet dog that would have been used for breeding his whole life, and putting him somewhere where he will be loved.

PS. His name will be Guster. :)

Joy of Love

For a long time I've been wanting to expand my photography skills. I'm never going to be anything more than a mom with a camera, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to take beautiful photos of my family and friends.

This time of year is totally frustrating for me in that regard. The days are short and dark. If we do go outside, we are bundled up and I'm wearing thick gloves and not really able to take photos, and if I do, my kids mostly have runny noses and squinted eyes. If I take photos in the house, they include my messy floors and low light.

Recently I got myself a Zeh Bounce. It's a flash bounce. It set me back about $12 and I LOVE it. It has actually done wonders to allow me to still use my flash and get some stability to my shots, but eliminate the nasty things flash does to faces and objects.

Anyway.

I decided to join the Joy of Love thingie Willette has going on. I will be posting my pics here each day. My poor, neglected little blog. I might actually blog once in awhile aside from posting pics. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

OH WAIT. I do have news. Post later.

Remembrance

Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

I'm one of the thousands, maybe millions, of women that grieve the loss of a baby they didn't get to meet or hold, name or bring home from the hospital, see alive, celebrate the first birthday.

It's something that will stay with me forever.

I don't talk about it to anyone. Not my husband, not my mom, not my friends.

I keep all of the feelings for this loss locked inside or here.

They are mixed up, ugly, jumbled feelings.

I can't say I wish I'd never suffered this loss because if I hadn't, I would not have Jacob and Boden in my life.

I think about it at odd times. I remember what my sister-in-law brought me for supper after I lost that baby, when she came to keep me company because Eric left me alone to attend a meeting. I remember calling my sister first to tell her, because I didn't know how to tell my mom. I remember calling my mother-in-law and asking her to come and get Ella because I had a fever and was too sick to take care of her.

I still have a little t-shirt that i had bought Ella, that said "Big Sister to Bee" with a super cute picture of a bee on it. I took photos of her in the shirt and emailed them to our family. I don't know what to do with that shirt. I can't bring myself to throw it away.

It's hard to grieve a miscarriage. No one met this baby. No one saw this baby. No one loved this baby aside from me. There is little evidence that I was even pregnant. It seems silly to think about it, 4 years later. But I do.

On my medical records it says I had a spontaneous abortion. I wish there was a way to change that. It feels very wrong. As if I had a choice in what happened.

Food

I love food. I'm a person that gets very excited about going out to eat. Trying a new restaurant is right up there with a super fun night out for me. I also love to cook. I love trying new recipes. Thankfully, my family is totally down with guinea pig status and there have only been a handful of recipes in the last 5 years that have gotten a big fat thumbs-down from them. Not including Ella, of course, because half the time she is impossible to please.

New recipes can be found anywhere. I love allrecipes.com. I love Pioneer Woman. I've made several of her recipes several times over. My favorites are the Sherried Tomato Soup, Chocolate Sheet Cake, Beef Tenderloin, and Brisket. Today I'm making the Chicken Spaghetti again. Yum. Makes a huge batch and my family loves it. Not healthy, though. Not even a little bit.

I'm trying her Angel, Sugar Cookies for the first time. Hopefully they turn out well. I decided that at the last minute, so, my butter wasn't softened. Found a trick online to try out - grated the butter into my metal Kitchen Aid bowl. Voila, soft butter! Sweet tric.

It's like I don't even know myself.

I did something pretty crazy a few weekends ago.

Hold onto your seats. Your hair. Your thong.

I ran, and completed, a 5k.

Say WHAAAAAT?

I know. Me too. I still can't believe I did it. If it weren't for the photos, number, and chip (which I'm keeping on my shoe, to remind me) I wouldn't believe it myself.

I ran it with my sister. It was the Miracle 5k - benefiting the Children's Miracle Network. When Jacob & Boden were just tiny tots in the NICU for 6 & 7 weeks, respectively, the CMN helped us a ton. Not only did the help pay for a large amount of the lifesaving, top-of-the-line equipment in the NICU, but they gave us support and meal tickets. The meal tickets were such a help for us - I was there every single day for 7 weeks, and the cost of eating every day would have been insane. The meals were just one less thing to worry about, and it allowed us to focus more on the boys.

I ran in honor of the boys. I had originally designed a logo for a shirt for my sis and I to wear, but time and money

ran out. Then my stepdad and mom surprised us with matching shirts bearing the design I'd made. :) Talk about super fly.

It was an incredible experience. My sis flew by me but it was all good. She's done 3 5k's and is a crazy person, so I was happy for her and when I could see her turning corners in front of me, I knew I was that much closer to the end.

I did have to slow to a fast walk a few times, and I'm ok with that. I surpassed my goal of 13 minute miles (made 12:04 minute miles) and that was a really great bonus.

I'm just so proud. This is something I never, ever thought I would be able to say I'd done. Now I want to do more. There's one at the end of October I want to do for sure, maybe 2 more in October. Not sure yet. But, you can be sure this was not my last!

Me and My sis.

Me.